Random Moments of Farfness
by Harakiri
Summary: A tribute to the psychopath of Schwarz. Hurray for Farfie! Beware of blood, gore, and bad language. You have been warned...


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Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz and I especially do not own Farfarello. (**Leonardi**: Which is a good thing. Who knows what she would have him do if she did o.O!) 

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Harakiri: Hullo, peoples. I'm back! And for those of you awaiting chapter 2 of "The Ol' Switcheroo" well…you'll have to wait until I'm inspired again…

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Ro: In other words she's a lazy, scatter-brained loser who can't write worth crap meaning she probably won't EVER get around to it! MUWAHAHAHA!!!

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Harakiri: *thwaps Ro* Dammit, knock that off!

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Ro: x~x

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Harakiri: Anyways…this latest master piece *glares at her muses who are looking at her like she's insane and muttering various not-so-inspiring phrases* is just a series of one-shots dedicated to the one-eyed psycho of Schwarz. I was intending to make this a Farf x Ken fic…*sweatdrops at all the weird looks she's getting* What? *sigh* Anyways, here's the first one. I wrote this during my math class. *gets fox ears and a fox tail* Ohohoho!

"speech"

'_thoughts_'

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Blood and metal and death and flesh and…insanity. A single gold eye glittered with the promise of all of it. Rip the flesh with the metal causing the blood to flow leaving behind death caused by insanity. Yes, that was how it went. That was how it was supposed to be.

The gold eye glittered again as more pleasant thoughts ran through a crazed mind. Cute little kittens squashed by big speeding tires attached to their metal monsters. Actually, the screeching is quite a pleasant sound and the explosions are like fireworks. Oh and fireworks bring out children! He loved children. They made funny noises when he poked them with his knives. They're really leaky, tho. The children, not the knives.

An insane giggle floated through the air. For some odd reason the idea of leaky knives was funny. All the blood would spill out of the knife and onto the white carpet. That would piss Crawford off. Pissing off Crawford didn't hurt god, but it was fun. Besides, white is a bland color. Red…red is so many things. Blood, roses, hearts, fire trucks, supposedly Schuldig's hair. Blood is nice, roses have thorns, hearts bleed, fire trucks signal disaster, and even tho Schuldig's hair isn't really red he bleeds and he hurts god too.

The solitary gold eye rolled to the side as the door to the padded cell was opened. It was time to go torment more people for Takatori. Yes…it was time to play. Of course, that was the only reason Takatori still lived. He allowed the psychopath to indulge himself without fear of repercussion. Not like he actually feared anything and it was more like Crawford gave him permission from Takatori. But who really cares?

Whatever thoughts had been going through that crazed mind were immediately brought to a halt as his head hit the floor. Drat. The blood rushing to his brain felt interesting, almost like his head would explode. That would be fun. Brain go splat! Heh, heh. A maniacal grin made its way onto his pale face as his mind supplied images of himself lying on the ground with his head missing and various pieces of his flesh, skull, and brains splattered on the wall along with his blood. He giggled.

"Get up! Mr. Takatori is attending a party and requires our presence." The gold eye narrowed in disappointment and anger. No blood, no leaky children, no squashed kitten, and no exploding brains. Well, maybe he could, but he didn't feel like being locked up for another week. Maybe he could…

"Hurry up. We do not need to be late."…kill that bastard! His mood was spoiled. Nothing fun planned for tonight and he couldn't even make his own fun. 

'_Oh, what's wrong?_' Oh, the guilty no read head is here! But why?

'_Excuse you! I'll have you know I am a red-head and natural to boot!_' Since when was orange red? Fujimiya had red hair, red like blood. Schuldig was orange like fire. Fire was good too. Fire burned. Fire was Hell. Fire hurt god.

'_I'll take that as a compliment. And it's funny you should mention Fujimiya…_' A small chuckle reverberated through the psycho's mind. '_Squashed kitten, huh? How about bloody mangled ones?_' Oh! That was a good idea. '_Weiss is dropping by the party tonight?_' How did he know that? '_I snuck in through the back door of Crawford's mind. Stupid ass didn't even notice._' Yay! The Weiss kitties were coming to play. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. Another chuckle sounded in his mind.

'_Yes, we get to play with the pretty kitties. Oh, Brad just told me to tell you to hurry up or we'll leave you._' He could feel the smile lighting Schuldig's face. '_Take your time._' Another grin spread across his face. It was an empty threat and they all knew it. Last time he'd been left home alone the walls had gotten a new paint job and he had put all of Crawford's paperwork into the blender with some tomatoes and hit pureé . That had been fun. He missed his blender.

Slowly he got himself off the floor and made his way out the still open door of his cell. He was still in his straight jacket, yes, but when the kitties came he would be released like a rottweiler after the neighborhood cat that had dared to stray into his yard. He smiled with insane delight as the image went through his head. Rabid rottweiler's who killed kitties hurt god. He laughed insanely before he was lifted by an unseen force and stuffed into the waiting limo. He couldn't wait for the party. Actually, he couldn't wait to see the Weiss kittens.

Nagi cast a nervous glance at the white haired, gold eyed, Irish psychopath who was giggling for seemingly no apparent reason. He jumped when Schuldig sat down next to him and threw his arm around the slender boy's shoulders.

'_What's wrong, bishi?_' Deep blue eyes narrowed at the German's pet name for him.

'_Baka. You told him didn't you?_'

'_Ja, so?_'

'_Crawford's going to kill you._'

'_Sure. 'Sides, what he doesn't know won't hurt him._'

The boy snorted but quickly turned it into a cough when their leader looked over at him. '_You mean it won't hurt us._'

Schu shrugged. '_Whatever. Now, stop worrying about Farf. 'Sides, you _should be _happy. You'll get to see your widdle Bombay._' Nagi blushed and sputtered then, immediately began to ignore Schuldig. Schu smiled and shook his head then turned to look out the window. '_Hm…tonight's gonna be very interesting._'

* So how'd you like? Loved it, hated, pretty okay, maybe you're confused about something? Well my friends, think on it no more! Just push that little button that says 'review' and you can tell me all about it! BTW…no flames. You flame, my muses hurt you. Right and one more thing. My spell checker wanted to change Aya's last name (Fujimiya) to bulimia. XD I thought that was pretty funny. Well, ta! (P.S. I also apologize for any wonkyness that might occur with the formatting. My computer is stupid )


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